$DUKE

hes not a good boy.

the most useless dog in the world

poke him

contract

SOON

THE LORE

you name a dog duke cause you think hes gonna be somethin

he never is

duke is a top 30 dog name in america. its from latin. it means noble. its on the collar of like three hundred thousand dogs who have never done one thing in their lives

this is the official coin for that

duke is not a rescue story theres no part where he gets better. hes outside the gas station at 4am with a big chug and two scratchers he already lost on. flea bitten. one ear up. cigarette he found

and hes FINE. thats the part. hes not sad hes not tryna fix it he doesnt know theres somethin to fix

everyone has known a duke. your uncle had one. guy down the street had one. it sat in the yard for eleven summers doin absolutely nothin and the whole family loved it more than they loved each other

so from here anything about a guy who was supposed to be somethin and just wasnt points back at this coin. the friend who says hes locking in monday. the one who never left the group chat. every 4am run to the gas station for no reason

every dog coin ever made was a good boy

hes not a good boy

$DUKE

THE RAP SHEET

none of it stuck. most of it wasnt worth the paperwork

duke, booked

booked · released · came back for the free air

loitering

11 counts. dismissed. he lives there

public intoxication

it was a big chug. they tested it. it was a big chug

gambling

ongoing

possession

of somethin he found

impersonating a security dog

he was asleep on a job he did not have

unlicensed trading

he was selling the ice. the ice is free

tax evasion

has never earned one dollar in his life

declaring himself head of state

see below

resisting arrest

he did not wake up. they gave up

failure to appear

he appeared. just not there

MAKE HIM DO ANYTHING

type it and hes doin it. he has no say in this

EVERYTHING HES DONE

nobodys made him do anything yet. go on

HE NEEDS TWENTY

just till tuesday

he owes you

$0

he says hes good for it

HE BOUGHT SCRATCHERS

scratch em. he already knows how it goes

NOT A WINNER
$0.00
NOT A WINNER

yeah

spent $0.00won $0.00

HE RUNS THIS LOT NOW

nobody elected him. nobody stopped him either

duke addressing the forecourt

decree no. 1

pump 3 is mine now

— duke, of the parking lot

24 HOURS OF FOOTAGE

pulled off the forecourt camera. this is a full day

04:12subject enters frame. carrying nothing
05:30subject horizontal
subject horizontal
CAM 02 — FORECOURT
05:30
11:55subject vertical. briefly
13:04subject conducts business behind the dumpster
subject conducts business behind the dumpster
CAM 04 — REAR
13:04
15:40subject detained. released. no charges filed. nobody wanted the paperwork
subject detained. released. no charges filed. nobody wanted the paperwork
CAM 07 — HOLDING
15:40
17:05subject addresses the forecourt for nine minutes. no one present
subject addresses the forecourt for nine minutes. no one present
CAM 02 — FORECOURT
17:05
19:22subject appears on a podcast. was not booked. no one asked him to do that
subject appears on a podcast. was not booked. no one asked him to do that
CAM 11 — STUDIO B
19:22
21:30subject purchases three scratchcards
23:58subject purchases three more
03:44subject horizontal again

WHERE THE MONEY GOES

he did the math himself. it took a while

scratchers46%
big chug23%
somethin he found19%
the machine that ate it12%
savings0%

he has never earned a dollar in his life. every cent of this is your twenty